Breaking grammar

I've changed the way I try to speak, things are "mine" now rather than "ours". I only remember to make the adjustment after I've initially misspoken. It's awkward as horrible. I bumble through basic pronouns and possessives.


My house. No longer out house.


My dog. Not our dog.


Andrew's things are still Andrew's. They remain his. Always. His chef's knife is sitting, dirty, in the sink, getting duller with each passing day. Andrew's books, movies, chair.


We watch zombie movies on Easter. No. Now no one watches zombie movies on Easter.


Turning normal phrases into past-tense phrases is humiliating. There's a duty of shame in getting it wrong.


It feels taboo to tell non-poignant stories about Andrew now. Should I tell people about his love of Siggi's yogurt? Is that awkward for them? Do I care of it's awkward for them?